Fireplace on Netflix!. what fun !!!!
I thought this was very interesting and tried out a bit of the games on the lumosity site, I think I am signing us both up !!! I wanted to share as I thought it looked like something most people could try !!! Keeping our brains active and busy is never a bad thing !!! I thought the prices were not bad and you can try it out for free too !!!
I recently had an experience that brought to mind how many times we simply make life more difficult for ourselves. Sometimes in big ways and sometimes like my recent experience in small ways.
I loaded the dishwasher and then closed it to open the cuboard that it blocked to get out the dishwasher cube thing to put in the soap dispenser. We moved here almost three months ago and that is where that box of dishwasher soap has lived since we moved in, never really thought about it. As I retrieved the dishwasher soap it dawned on me, the cubboard under the sink has two sides, one of which is not blocked by the dishwasher door. So, I could simply reach in, pull out the soap, put it in the dishwasher and be done No opening and closing the dishwasher to accomplish this talk. It was one of those head smacking moments when you think to yourself, I am not stupid, why did I put the soap there and then leave it there for almost three months, makign a simple task a bit more difficult ? I moved it, much nicer now !!!
It got me thinking about life in general and how we can do that kind of thing all through our life , whether it be housekeeping, gardening or work. Small , fairly stupid things, that we do to just make our day a bit harder. Not returning a call and having it turn into a bigger issue because we just did not want to deal with it. Using a wrench to turn on a faucet because you do not want to take the time to go to the store and buy a new handle. Putting off going to the store for shampoo and then standing in the shower with no shampoo and a lot of regrets, it is something most people do and do not even pay attention to past the moment of inconvience.
Why do we settle for this. Just not paying attention and doing things for no real reason, no thought out plan. Kind of shrug it off like it is not important ? It really is important when you really think about it. We have so much do to in our lives these days and if we could just spend a few minutes every day looking at what we do and how we could do it more effiecently, life could be a lot easier for a lot of people. Sometimes people even know they are inconviencing themselves and just keep it up because they do not want to spend the energy to change it. Make the calll, move the item, take the time.
I want to urge everyone, take that minute to look at what you do every day and see if there are some ways you can make it easier on yourself, or even your spouse or child if you see them behaving this way. Life does not need to be any harder than it sometimes is !!
We have some wonderful new neighbors at our new house and truely feel we won the neighbor lotto as everyone we have met on our street is just wonderful !! One family next to us is having some pretty exciting opportunities come thier way and it is so fun to watch thier dreams coming true . My best girl friend Laurie just got her LVN license, and is on the path to being an RN which is her dream come true, all of our kids and thier spouses are starting to really find thier paths and are doing well, which is so wonderfu land I am so excited to see these wonderful people having great things happen !!!
It made me realize that I am not content just watching them reach thier dreams and have wonderful things happen, I want to have wonderful things happen in my life !!
I have a great life. To borrow a line from a fellow Blogger I folllow, The Dancing professer, I have a dreamy life !! I have a truely wonderful husband who supports anything I want to do. He is not at all upset with me when I have a fun day instead of washing laundry , even if he is really short on socks, and is truely happy that I had a good day and will throw in a load himself , no compaining, although I really try hard to make sure he has what he needs each day . We honestly love each other and enjoy each others company and after almost 32 years of marriage are really happy together in our marriage and are each others best friends as well as married. We share four truely amazing kids and three of them are now married and their spouses are all like our own kids, we love them so much and they have given us eight grandkids, which are such a blessing !!
Blessings all, and I am so grateful every day for each and every one of those precious beings in my life !!
I have also been blessed with wonderful friends in my life. Some here in person, some friends I have had for life that live in other states as either I or both of us, have moved from where we all knew each other. I have wonderful blogger friends and friends on facebook I have never met. Each one is a blessing and a gift in my life. I enjoy reading the blogs and talking on the phone and keeping up with all these wonderful people.
I have done what I was supposed to do. With considerable help from my hubby we have raised our four kids to be wonderful and interesting adults that I would want to know even if they were not our kids. We are so proud of them all.
Now, it is my time. I do not want to spend the rest of my life on the sidelines cheering everyone on with no one cheering me. I want to have goals and work hard to make my own celebrations !! Life is so amazing and there are so many wonderful people and places and things to do, and I want David and I to be able to see the world and meet interesting people and have some fun and interesting experiences !!!
So, it is time for me to start making more plans and then start making them happen. Both for my personal future, what I want to be now that our kids are grown up, and for us to make plans for us as a couple now that we do not have to make our plans around kids any longer. And also help my husband with his own plans, give him support to think about what he wants to do. He has supported us our entire marriage and never really give much thought to what woudl make him happy career wise, versus just bringing home money for the family. I want him to be happy every day with what he does , not just have to endure a job the next twenty years. HE works hard in his currrent job, makes good money but it is not his passion, although he is very good at what he does.
MY biggest problem is I am so scattered. I love to do too many things and need to focus on one or at most two.
I love to write, draw, bead, take pictures, do all kinds of crafts, read, talk on the phone, visit with friends, go to yard sales and thrift shops, although those last few really are not career goals, although the yard sales and thrift stores could be part of a goal.
I have been working on a book for years, time to finish it and figure out what i am going to do with it publishing wise.
I am also working hard to get off about half my body weight and that is very distracting as well. Going slow, but when you have a metabolism problem, which the endrocinologist said I do, It will just take longer but will happen in time.
So, the big questions is what do I want to do the most ?? I really do not know !!!!
We recently moved into a new(old) house and it is taking so much time to get settled in. I am finally going to have a proper work area in the living room and once that is all done and every thing I own is put away, I know I will be a bit more focused .
Did I mention I also have ADHD from childhood ? I am constantly having to keep myself on track as I can be distracted off anything I am doing so easily.
They say to figure out what you loved to do as a child to find your true calling. I loved to do kid stuff. Run, jump, play kickball, play with my little animal toys,and for a while Barbies, draw, play with clay, paint, , color, sing, talk and spend time with my friends and play make believe games. Pretty average child stuff. Nothing that really steers me toward a dream or goal. Kind of the same stuff I love today, except for the Barbies and animal toys, make believe , and the running and jumping thing. Although once when Brooks and Dunn were filming thier last video here in our town, I ran down the street to get pictures of them, and shocked not only myself but my husband and our youngest daughter with how fast this heavy body moved !!! But that is not the point !!! I suppose some make believe in our lives would not be a bad thing, day dreaming is so important and that is what we do as kids, but we act it out !! I had noticed lately I do not day dream as much as I u sed to and I do not like that !!
That is what made me start this blog, and I had every intention of writing here often and working hard to figure me out , but then life just got in the way. It become an occasional thing. But seeing all the happy news around me, and watching the people I like and care about having such fun times and seeing so many dreams starting to come true, it really has hit me that I have to start moving toward some goals.
I sit in my house way too much. I am living through others, way too much. I deserve, as everyone does, to have dreams and goals and celebrations of my own.
We get married, we have a shower, or showers, the wedding, and that fun time of getting used to being married. Then you have the babies and those showers and then pretty much after that, if you do not keep your personal goals alive, everything is for the kids. Thier first day of school. Thier graduations and big birthdays, one , ten, sixteen, and you kind of push your stuff to the back. We did not have a big 25 th wedding aniversary party and that is a shame. We should have. I did not have a big 50th birthday, nor did my husband, we should have.
What is life, if not for celebrating ??
So, I am going to work harder, as I navigate life stuff, setting up this house, babysitting grandkids and celebrating everyones goals reached and dreams coming true, and get some goals of my own.
I know some things I want to accomplish.
1 lose the weight that as Oprah put it, is mud in my wings. I do believe that. I am not as bubbly and outgoing as I used to be when I felt pretty and had a thin more agile body. Although still outgoing and friendly, I am less willing to put myself out there than I used to be.
2, finish my book and get it published and out there.
3. Get my jewelry business profitable. I am very , very proud of the quality of my pieces. I know they are good quality and worth what I ask. I just have to figure out how to get my pieces promoted better. I am working on it, by sponsoring a very cute and lovely blog, showing my items on another wonderful blog. website, and putting them on Etsy .com. Those links, if not on this blog to the right, are on my beading blog, which is on the right.
4. Get our debt paid off so that David has some options. Once we are debt free, except for our houses, they will be ongoing for a while, then we have more options open for doing some of the t hings we are passionate about . Real estate, we have dreamed of owning rental property and finally have one house rented and one we live in. Also , we would love to open a store and rent out booths to crafters and antique dealers. That has been a dream for honestly most of our marriage. We have rented booths and tried that way, but that is not the way to do it. Have others pay the rent and you can sell your stuff with no rental, trying to pay the rent on a booth leaves it harder to make that profit !! We have to be debt free and maybe willing to live above that business for a while to get it off the ground, so more things to work towards. This woudl be a purchased building, so the mortgagte and business could be one for a while. I have another blog, a financial blog about the money and debt part of our life. There is a link to that either on this page or my beading blog.
A good start. Much work to do.
I will work hard on becoming focused. Something my ADHD brain has issues with at times !!!
Thanks for stopping in, I will share as I go !!!
some pictures I took in our back yard the other day, great new camera !!! Took a lot more, but will just share a few !!
I tried to post this on my beading blog and it would not take, so it is here instead !! Please check out both my wine charms and Lindas wonderful page !!!
I woke up today not feeling quite myself. Maybe some malaise of the emotional kind, or even a bit morose. I am not sure which. Just not myself. The last few weeks have been crazy busy and I knew today would be my day from the time I got up until about five thirty with just a few minutes of my husband running in, changing clothes and going out to play racket ball with our son in law.
I thought I would wake up feeling energetic , full of vim and viger, not having to sit today. I have been watching kids all week, and our youngest grand daughter five days a week for the last month or so.
However, I woke up in this blue type mood which is not really me at all.
My question is , why ………?
I think there are a few things responsible.
Not being settled in our new home, despite moving in mid August. I have boxes and boxes of unpacked stuff in the house, let alone what is in the garage. Many projects to do, so much left undone as we have had a lot of things coming up that we had to help our grown kids with and it has put our stuff on hold. No regrets, they needed the help , so that is not a problem in itself. We always want to be there for our kids.
I think I feel like we are just staying here. It is not our home. I have a mortgage payment due on Oct 1 to prove it IS our home, but it does not feel like it. I cannot find anything I need. I have no place to put anything. I am beyond frustrated.
we moved back here to our home town, after being an hour away for a year, to be closer to our kids , whom we missed so much and I wanted to have a better social life as we knew no one up there, and have so far not really gotten to do much with friends. I am still pretty isoloated, but at least I am seeing our kids and grandkids on a regular basis, the ones in Texas at least, we have two out of state we miss very much as well as their parents.
I cannot seem to focus on anything lately. Beading, photography , finances, writing, reading, cooking, cleaning, housework, going through boxes, you name it. I am just scattered at the time and I am not really sure what to do about it. I am spending too much time on Candy crush, but I play for free, I do not buy those credits to play !!!
I pay the bills, do what has to be done, but that is about it. I am frustrated with myself and my life right now.
Okay , I do want to be clear. I have a great life. I have a husband I love so much, and our kids are amazing and through them we have wonderful in law kids and precious grandkids. We have a good life and I have no compaints in that dept. We have a nice home , that we can really update and make really nice and my husband is blessed with a good job !!
I have a great marriage , married to my best friend. We really like each other as friends, as well as being a romantic couple. I have had the luxury of staying home the past 30 years to raise the kids and of late, help watch our grandkids.
So, what could be the problem then ?
I have no damn idea !! I am working on losing weight. I have to lose about half my body weight in fat, that is embarrassing to admit. I need to get in better shape fitness wise. I am still pretty strong and doing pretty good despite my weight, but I want to be better than good. I want to be strong and very healthy. But this is not the reason for my feelings. I am working on it, I know I will get there.
I just feel a bit blue today.
I think I need to find people to do stuff with. I have no one I can get out with on a regular basis and have fun. My dear friend here in Texas, used to be my constant companion years ago when our kids were in school and we would hang out together. Not any more. she just got her LVN and is looking for a job. Soon she will be working full time and any time we have gotten to spend together , which since I have moved back has not been as much as I thought it would be, will be gone. she is in a differant stage of l ife than I am. Ten years younger. Wants to party, go to bars and hang out with friends and play pool. That is not who I am and so she does not even bother to invite me anymore. I told her we are growing apart, she is changing, I am still the way I was , but her life has changed. Her kids grew up and she is wanting to play. She swears we are not growing apart, but I have been through this with another dear friend and I know it is coming. We will always stay in touch, get together from time to time. but she has new friends that do like to party and go to play pool and do not mind smoky bars. I am not against bars and drinking, but bars are not really my thing and I drink very rarely. It is just not something I care for. At t his point in her life, she wants to drink socially and have fun. I want to hang out at home, , or go out and eat, sit and talk, go to yard sales, thirft stores or even window shop at Target, but not go to play pool and party. My hubby and I have never been partiers even when we were young. It is just not our thing !! I miss the times I spent with my friend and I probably am grieving losing the friendship we had. the one we will have moving forward, it is not the same friendship we had shared for a decade. It just isn’t , she just does not want to admit it at this point.
I would love to find other creative people to hang out with. People who love to bead and do crafts . Maybe even writers, or artists, My age preferably . I have some amazing friends my age but they are all in other states. I love them dearly, and we talk and keep in touch through phone calls, emails and facebook. But I want people to hang out with. Go to yard sales with, garage sales, be creative with !!
I love doing many of those things with my hubby and when he worked second shift , or his rotating 12 hour shift, we got many weekdays to go out and have fun. Take pictures, go to antique stores, thrift stores, and yard sales. Make stuff for the yard together and for a while we even had an antique booth together. He works day shift now mostly six day a week work weeks, and gets home when all those venues are closed. I could go by myself, but it is just not the same experience . Holding up some ugly or rediculous thing you find to get the other persons reaction, showing off treasures as you find them. You cannot do that by yourself. I have tried going alone, it is sad.
So, please excuse my poor poor pitiful me day, that is not really how I feel but I know that is how it sounds. It is more a bit of sadness and boredom and frustration. Not knowing what to do to fix the issue. I have tried to make new friends. I have met interesting people and after a fun conversation have given them my number, and they seem intersted in getting together, but I have never one time gotten a call, or an offer of thier number. I guess most people have plenty of friends. I could think there is something wrong with me, and I have at times . but I really do not think that is it. I am a normal person, not scary or weird, lol, just your average person who loves to talk and do things with others. I just think by fifty , most people have more friends than they need. Work friends, church friends, school friends they kept for life. They just do not need another friend.
My husband does not work in a place where he can really find people to hang out with from work. Pure and simple, he really would not care to hang out with many of the people he works with and the ones he would, have too much to do and are not really free to get together or work opposite shifts from him. I do not work, so no work friends for me. No kids in school so no meeting peolpe that way. We are not church goers so that is out. I love God and pray, but church is not my thing. I do not like having to watch what a say all the time and worrying about a bad word, yes, I do swear at times, and I have tried to stop it so many times, but to no avail. I am a work in progress !!
So, it is really frustrating to want some friends, to really want a group of women to hang out with, and get together with maybe once a week , like you see in the movies and tv, and not be able to do that. I think I am friendly and give a good impression There is no real reason I can think of that no one calls me except that they already have full lives with plenty of friends and do not need another one.
I even tried the Red Hats, which our daughter in law found hilarious. but never got an answer from the group in my area. Not sure I could prance around in red and purple anyaway, so maybe it is a good thing they never got back to me ! Okay, stop laughing Melissa, lol, !!!
How do you create the life you want ? I feel like the women in Rebas song, is there life out there ? I do not want to leave, I am just wondering if there is life out there ? There is so much I have not done, so much I want to try. I am just so frustrated.
I started this blog in the hopes I would meet other women struggling to find themselves too. I would love to hear from people who have been down this road and found some answers.
If you are struggling too, maybe we can help each other !!
I am basicly happy. I have a wonderful amazing life with a wonderful amazing man I love like crazy, who takes very good care of me and loves me the way I am and encourages anything I want to do or try !! I raised four kids with him that are fabulous adults I enjoy spending time with. BUT, now it is time for me to find out what I want. LIke my blog title says. It is time to be me, but who in the heck is me , I just do not know any more, and do not understand how to find out. I am not sure I got to know who I was before life took me over. Marriage , motherhood, and so on. Life is like a river that just sort of sweeps you away and when you finally are able to get out , and climb up the banks, you have no idea of were you were going or what you wanted to do when you fell in !!
I am sure I will wake up tomorrow and feel just fine again. These days happen from time to time. I am still looking for clues, something to get me on the right path so I can start looking for where I need to be. I am only 53, I have many decades left to live and do something great with my life, I just have to figure out what that could be ?
Thanks for listening, I just needed to vent. Not sure how many people really read this, but just writing it down makes me feel better and that is the other reason I started this blog. The light below , I took this picture years ago, says go , but I just have to figure out where !!!
Thanks so much,